I just really love Ponyo ok?
“Humor is a common defense mechanism. Some funny people like to make themselves and others laugh because it keeps them from crying. It distracts people from the real issues and pokes fun at things to minimize the impact. Albeit temporarily.”
Is it weird that I don’t believe in love/romance? Well, I believe in love but not the romantic kind. Lol maybe it’s my anxiety meds that kill out all those emotions and my need to have sex or any feelings related to that at all haha.
But I believe in finding love in friends. Like best friends. Lots of people I know really want to find a lover and I just can’t understand what the point is in that. I just feel like I wouldn’t be able to love them 100% and that there would always be some kind of barrier, but with friends and family it’s just different. This is just my opinion by the way so don’t hate if you disagree because I’m not even bagging anything :)
I think sex complicates everything so I just abstain. I’m weird. I don’t know lol. The thought of kissing grosses me out and why on earth would I want to hold a guys hand? I don’t hate guys or anything it’s just not in my interest.
Hmmmmmm!
I’m seeing my Mum tomorrow and we’re going to have lunch again like we did last Thursday. I’m looking forward to it so much. I feel guilty for moving out. I feel like compared to my sister, I should be the one staying home because I guess I’m easier to talk to and get along with - not that I’m bagging my sister at all. It’s just the way our personalities are.
I feel bad and I know she misses me. I hate feeling bad or feeling/knowing that I’m the cause of someones bad feelings. I just want to make her happy! Well I bought her an aromatherapy massage and Botox appointment so hopefully that makes her a bit happier… It’s crazy. I’m just trying to think of so many things that I can do so she doesn’t feel upset that I’m not there. I don’t know if that’s weird or not…?
Despite what people think of me when they first meet me, I’m actually extremely sensitive and such a giver. I’m not being a matyr by saying that though. I always “put all my cards on the table” when I feel like I connect with someone and that doesn’t happen often at all. I enjoy it, though. It’s fun showing people that you care about them. But I guess my ‘rough’ exterior can kind of counter-act these things which is such a shame. I don’t know. Basically what I’m saying is, sometimes I feel like people don’t realise how much I care for and love them and just want to make them happy or to be their friend or whatever. It’s frustrating because I just want to make people happy all the time aghhh I’m like one of those eclair lollies where the outside is hard caramel but the inside is soft chocolate. It’s frustrating!
Once you see yourself as fat, you never see anything else- even if everyone else says you aren’t it doesn’t matter to you because the only thing that is relevant is that black hole in your head that sucks out your soul and infects your mind. The black hole says you’re fat and you have no room in your head to fight these thoughts because the black hole won’t stop screaming at you.
